Rule #21: Bros, Use A Good Antiperspirant

Bros, any woman will tell you: it’s not cute to have that giant wet spot in your armpit while wearing ANY shirt, unless you’ve been running track. Even then, don’t expect a hug. There are ways to safeguard your pits from becoming fountains of shame. Deodorants only masks the smell, but never stop the pit from sweating. Your best bet is an antiperspirant, as they slow down the production of underarm sweat. Our bodies are constantly producing sweat, but there are certain times when they produce a lot more, like when you’re about to give a speech in front of your class, or you find yourself stuck in an elevator with a hot chick, or you’re about to meet your girlfriends parents for the first time and they have no idea that she’s pregnant.

In any case, get yourself a solid antiperspirant that you can trust. Personally, I go for solids that are unscented, such as Sure or Mitchum, maybe even the Arm & Hammer brand. There’s nothing worse than those Right Guard fruity scents that by the end of the day leave you smelling like a mixture of badussy and fruit. I hated that stink when I was in high school. Also, stay away from gels. They mess up your shirts and make your armpit hair crustier than apple pie.

So next time you’re in Duane Reade or Walgreens, do yourself a favor and skip past Axe, Right Guard, or whatever other fruity brands they have sitting on the top and middle shelves. Reach down on that bottom shelf and raise your hand if you’re Sure!

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