Billboard’s List of One Hit Wonders of The Decade

I loved this, but no one wants to be a one hit wonder, including me. You tell yourself, “no way, I’m in this till the wheels fall off!”, but in reality, you were never driving. The major record label (the drivers) have paid you your money for the song, for the video, for promotion, radio spins, and interviews, but after that ride is over, it’s out you go, and on to the next. That’s the business they’re in, giving you $50,000 for your single or album, then making a gazillion dollars in downloads and CD sales. And if your second album or single aint hot enough, the only paper you’ll be seeing are pink ones. But don’t take it from me, ask these people:

1. Daniel Powter – BAD DAY
Never heard of this guy, but apparently his song was used for the 5th season of American Idol.

2. Terror Squad – LEAN BACK
Fat Joe hasn’t come out with anything hot since Jealous One’s Envy. Lean Back was pure luck.

3. Crazy Town – BUTTERFLY
Crazy Town made it a hot sample, but Red Hot Chili Peppers made it a hot song.

4. MIMS – THIS IS WHY I’M HOT
And this is why u aint around anymore.

5. D4L – LAFFY TAFFY
Remember when these clowns came out? Everybody was up in arms over all the shuckin and jivin they were doing. (Except everyone who was doing the Laffy Taffy)

6. James Blunt – YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL
The song that got him laid by beautiful models everywhere

7. Gnarls Barkley – CRAZY
I hate to bust on Gnarls as I love them, and I think they’re second album was better than their first. Still, they had everyone covering this song from Billy Idol to Paris Hilton. Enough is enough.

8. Blu Cantrell – HIT ‘EM UP STYLE (OOPS!)
She hasn’t done anything since her nude spread in Black Tail

9. Bo Bice – INSIDE YOUR HEAVEN
Who??

10. Dream – HE LOVES U NOT
Who??

11. J-Kwon – TIPSY
Errbody forgot this song, after they got tipsy

12. Cassie – ME & U
I could on and on about this girl, but I’ll just say, Diddy got tired of tappin that ass

13. Lou Bega – MAMBO NO. 5 (A LITTLE BIT OF…)
Jesus

14. Lil’ Romeo – MY BABY
Make ’em say enouuuugh

15. Lumidee – NEVER LEAVE YOU – UH OOH, UH OOOH!
I used to work with one of Lumidee’s good friends Uptown. She said the labels gave her $5G’s, and some gold hoop earrings that said “Lumidee” in the middle as an advance. I wonder if they offered to pay to get her nails done too.

16. Hinder – LIPS OF AN ANGEL
Who??

17. Kevin Lyttle feat. Spragga Benz – TURN ME ON
Who??

18. Youngbloodz feat. Lil Jon – DAMN!
Remember when Lil Jon was that dude?!? Me neither…

19. Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook – WHERE’D YOU GO
Word, where did you go Mike Shinoda?

20. Samantha Mumba – GOTTA TELL YOU
Who??

21. Cassidy feat. R. Kelly – HOTEL
I wouldn’t call this Omar Epps a-alike a one hit wonder, maybe a three hit wonder. But he could be Omar Epps stunt double

22. Macy Gray – I TRY
This was that song the DJ played to get all the drunk bitches out the club.

23. The Calling – WHEREVER YOU WILL GO
Who??

24. Vanessa Carlton – A THOUSAND MILES
Break out this classic at at any sweet 16 party, those little girls go crazy!

25. Ruff Endz – NO MORE
Who??

26. Eiffel 65 – BLUE (DA BA DEE)
Who??

27. Rich Boy feat. Polow Da Don – THROW SOME D’s
I was actually feeling Rich Boy’s album, but once Kanye ran with this beat, it was a wrap for Ol’ Rich Boy. Better luck next time

28. Nick Lachey – WHAT’S LEFT OF ME
You notice it’s never Nick Lachey by himself, it’s always: Jessica Simpson (and Nick Lachey), or Vanessa Minnillo (and Nick Lachey) or Mrs. Lachey (and son Nick Lachey)

29. Tweet – OOPS (OH MY)
Whatever happened to Tweet??

30. Hurricane Chris – A BAY BAY
No way way

31. Jibbs – CHAIN HANG LOW
The ice cream man is coming!!

32. Sonique – IT FEELS SO GOOD
Who??

33. DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do – HEAVEN
Who??

34. Eden’s Crush – GET OVER YOURSELF
Who??

35. D.H.T. – LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Who??

36. Truth Hurts Feat. Rakim – ADDICTIVE
Rakim made this track hot. Good thing he aint part of he group

37. Kevon Edmonds – 24/7
Who??

38. S Club 7 – NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE
Who??

39. Young Dro feat. T.I. – SHOULDER LEAN
See #5

(via Billboard)

I say this prayer every night before I go to bed to ward off any One Hit Wonder demons, I suggest they do the same:

Now I lay me down to sleep, and pray Jimmy Iovine my soul to keep, if I go wack before I wake, I pray Puff Daddy my soul to take.

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This entry was posted in Comedy, Dope Music, Hip Hop Stay Losing, Inspiration, Music News. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Billboard’s List of One Hit Wonders of The Decade

  1. kseverny says:

    Doesn’t seem like a very fair industry

    • GF says:

      It’s true. Maybe at one time it was fair, the labels looked out for their artists, but eventually creativity gave way to money and the bottom line. I doubt we’ll get there again.

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